wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
