i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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