if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
