it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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