Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
