You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
