sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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