I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
