Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
