The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
