I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
