physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
