so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think my vagina is haunted
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
