It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
