make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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