'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
