One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize