She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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