I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I haven't been this sober since birth.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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