people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
