Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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