if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize