I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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