oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
