Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
