And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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