We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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