it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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