38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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