We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
