At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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