we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He kissed a someone with a penis
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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