I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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