need another drink. this is the easiest way
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
