VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
