The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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