I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dicks are not precious.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
