Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
