the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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