I think im going to throw up on grandma
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
