omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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