I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
