Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
