there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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