why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
