she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
