Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
