she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
