I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
