I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I smell stomach acid.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
