A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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