i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
