The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
