All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
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happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Never underestimate the power of titties
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