My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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