So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
