No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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