Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
