The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
